by Echo Bodine
What most people believe to be the other side,
I consider home. We are all just working our way back.
Many people have asked me if it is possible to communicate with a loved one who has
passed away and, if so, how to do it. Loved ones usually try to get messages through to us
to let us know how they are doing. They will communicate through psychics. They will try
to appear to us. Sometimes they will come to us and project a smell that will remind us of
them. Other times we will be sitting quietly or perhaps taking a walk we once enjoyed
together, and we will intuitively know they are there with us. They also work through
electricity - turning TVs and radios on and off, affecting lights, doorbells, phones. They
seem to be able to manipulate energy - most likely because they're energy!
A few years ago I was channeling healings to a dear friend who was dying of cancer. The
afternoon he died, I was sitting in my kitchen. All of a sudden a breeze blew the kitchen
curtain and someone held my hands for a brief second. I heard a voice whisper, "Thank
you." It all happened so fast I wondered if I had imagined it. About an hour later a
mutual friend called to tell me he had died. The time of his death was moments before my
experience. Spirits or deceased loved ones don't all speak. Some think to us; their
messages come through as thoughts. What can make it difficult for the medium is that the
deceased's thoughts and the medium's thoughts sound exactly the same, so the medium has to
learn how to distinguish between the two. They also communicate with us through images,
pictures in our minds. We receive pictures, one at a time. Again, interpretation is the
When trying to communicate with deceased loved ones it is most important to have
patience. Often they are just as anxious as we are to communicate with us, but the timing
has to be right for all concerned. If there is someone you want to communicate with, here
are some helpful tips:
1. The biggest obstacle will probably be your intellect, which will tell you that
communicating with your loved one is impossible. It is not.
2. If you are obsessed with wanting to communicate with your departed, that will block
you. Don't make it the most important thing in your life. You need to get on with your
life, just as your loved one must.
3. Ask that you hear from them either through a sign or in a dream. Place a tablet by your
bed for recording your dreams, and tell yourself when you go to bed to remember them. It
takes some practice, but messages will start coming through if your deceased loved one is
trying to communicate this way.
4. When little things happen, don't assume they are just coincidences. Keep notes of the
odd little things that happen - but again, don't be obsessed. You may sense a familiar
smell, or thoughts may run through your head almost as if the person is having a dialog
with you. Little things do mean something. There are no coincidences.
5. Don't try to complicate the process. The messages usually come through in simple forms.
When my deceased grandfather would visit me, I would always smell either green tea or
vanilla ice cream. These are things he loved. My grandma brings my sister a bouquet of
flowers whenever she visits her. My sister doesn't see them, but she smells them and just
has a knowingness that it's Grandma. When a former male friend would visit, I would get
the word "princess" over and over in my head. It was what he used to call me.
Usually our soul friends have very little to say. They just want us to know they're there
and that they love us.
6. Look for a reputable psychic who can contact souls on the other side. Not all psychics
can, so make sure they know how. Go to a psychic you are referred to by someone you know.
If a psychic focuses on negativity, tries to scare you, tells you there is a curse on you
and for a sum of money can get it removed, get up and leave. This person is not on
a spiritual path and you don't need this person's advice. You are fragile enough if you
are in a grieving process - don't let such as person prey on your vulnerability. If you
are desperate to communicate with a loved one, please let a little time pass so you can be
objective when receiving information.
Here's a word of caution about obsessing: It's not uncommon when we are in a state of
deep grief to want to know or feel that our loved one is nearby. We can't stand the void
we feel, and some will do just about anything to communicate with a departed loved one. My
brother Michael did several ghostbustings for Carol, who had lost her daughter. She
desperately wanted to communicate with her. For several days she repeatedly asked her
daughter to come to their home and talk to her.
Then she heard banging on the walls, footsteps on the stairs. She felt rushes of cold
energy. It all became too much for her, and she called Michael. I went with him on two
occasions, and each time saw the same thing: her daughter wasn't there, but several other
young spirits were present. Each time Michael cleared the house and cautioned Carol not to
call any more spirits. She was so determined to make contact with her daughter that
Michael's visits to her house continued for quite some time.
The last time Michael and I went together, I asked my guides to please help us. They
gave me an image of a door that was open to the spirit world. (I've heard other psychics
refer to these doors as portals, from our world to the other side.) The guides said to ask
the angels to please take the souls back to the other side. Many of the souls we saw
seemed to be confused. An adult soul from limbo was leading them as if he were in charge
Many psychics are reputable and loving. They have the best of intentions, which are to
bring you the guidance you are seeking. Two very good mediums I'd like to mention have
great reputations for communicating with deceased loved ones: George Anderson and James
Van Praagh. I've never seen George Anderson, but have heard his work is phenomenal. Two
books were written about his work: We Don't Die and We Are Not Forgotten, by J.
Martin. I have seen, James Van Praagh numerous times on television, and I have the
greatest respect for him. His book, Talking to Heaven, was a bestseller for several
weeks. He is a highly gifted man, with a waiting list of three years. He travels
throughout the country doing seminars.
People ask me why anyone would want to talk with a departed loved one. There are many
reasons. For certain people, some kind of communication with their loved ones is important
so they can put closure on the relationship. Others may need information to understand the
person's death, especially if it was a difficult one or a suicide. Often a murder has been
committed and there are few clues to solve it. Psychic contact has been effective in
police work. And we all have a need of some kind to keep in touch with our loved ones,
whether they're living or deceased. It's more intense for some than others. They need to
know their deceased loved ones are doing okay so they can get on with their own lives.
Here are a few examples of clients who came to communicate with a loved one.
It's Never Too Late to Heal the Pain
George came to me to talk with his mother, who had passed away ten years earlier. He had
cancer and didn't have long to live. George had a strained relationship with his mother
when she was living. She was very religious, very strict with him, and had instilled a lot
of guilt in him he still hadn't resolved. He said he wanted to make peace with her before
I asked the spirits if they would get her soul for us, but at first she would not come
into the room. She was crying. After five or ten minutes her soul came into the room and
said she had tried communicating with her son many times through dreams, wanting to
apologize and tell him she had been wrong. She was beside herself with grief and guilt.
Her soul said that she taught him what she had been taught, thinking that was the right
way. But after getting to heaven and doing some healing, she realized that most of what
she had believed and had taught him was a lie. She asked for his forgiveness several
times. He cried, she cried. A tremendous healing took place that afternoon.
Justice Would Be Served
A mother and one of her daughters came to me to communicate with another daughter who had
died mysteriously in a fire. They suspected the girl's fiancé had set the fire, but no
one could prove it.
I could see the daughter's soul as she came through the tunnel and into my office. Then
her soul described in great detail how her fiancé had knocked her unconscious in a hotel
room, had driven her body to the building she was found in, and had set it on fire. His
name was on the insurance policy. The insurance company had not yet paid the money because
the circumstances looked suspicious, but no one could find any substantial clues. Her
mother kept asking for some kind of concrete evidence she could take to the police. Her
daughter's soul replied that there wasn't any evidence, but that she shouldn't worry
because justice would come on the anniversary of her body's death.
Her mother and sister were really frustrated. I was, too, but I have learned that you
can't push a spirit any more than you can push most people. As my clients left, I asked
the mother to let me know what happened. She came back a week after the anniversary of her
daughter's death and told me her daughter's fiancé had committed suicide on the date of
Her daughter's soul came into the room, and all she said was that everything would now be
just fine. The fiancé was in heaven and would have to contend with her and what he had
done. She said, "Tell my mom everything's finally okay."
It's common sense to want some kind of proof from a psychic that the soul being
communicated with is indeed the right soul. I think it is important to ask the soul to
give you some proof, but I want to caution you as well. I have done many readings for
people who want to communicate with deceased loved ones. Sometimes the soul will give many
pieces of identifying information so that my client will know without a doubt that this is
the loved one. Other times the soul gives a message that is very meaningful to it, but the
client finds it insignificant.
Recently I channeled a message to a young woman whose mother had committed suicide when
my client was a baby. The mother's soul poured her heart out, explaining all her feelings
about taking her life and not raising her daughter, and about how she felt toward the
girl's father. The mother's soul went through a great deal emotionally as she tried to
reassure my client that the mother's suicide had nothing to do with her. The mother's soul
disclosed a lot about herself and felt good about being so honest. I could see that the
soul had been tormented for a long time.
The daughter asked for specific proof that this was her mother's soul. The soul looked at
me with a sense of desperation. She was discouraged that her daughter didn't remember the
events she had mentioned. I don't know why some deceased souls can recall things so
clearly and others can't. In this case the mother's reality was so different now,
twenty-five years later, that she didn't view earth experiences with the same dramatic
feelings that we do. They were occurrences to her like many others, lessons she and her
daughter had learned from.
The daughter asked if her mother's soul knew she was a grandmother, and the soul's
response was, "Of course I know I'm a grandmother." The daughter asked why her
mother's soul hadn't mentioned it, and the soul said she didn't understand what she was
supposed to do or say. She knew her daughter was upset, but didn't know what her
expectations were. She cared, but it was not the same real-life drama it was for her
daughter. She was far more objective about it and far less attached to it than her
When we go to the other side, we go to a very different culture. There is a prevailing
calmness over there. The day-to-day dramas don't exist as we know them. Souls on the other
side aren't caught up in the daily struggles we are or in the deep need to survive. They
realize they have survived, and they see life here as a series of experiences to learn
from. They don't always cling to the memories the way we have a tendency to do. They
experience everything in present tense. There are no clocks or calendars, no time as we
think of it. Yes, souls on the other side do have memories; they remember some of their
yesterdays, but they're not necessarily the ones we remember.
Many people make up a code word with their almost departed loved one, thinking that if
and when they go to a medium, the code word will ensure they have the right person. Code
words don't always work. Sometimes the soul cannot remember what the code word was. I
think it's because the conscious body-mind came up with the code word and perhaps it
wasn't important to the soul. I have seen many souls bring through all kinds of pertinent
information, and yet, when they can't remember the codes, their loved ones on this side
don't believe it's them. I suggest that, if you are in a situation like this, you listen
to the information intuitively. You'll know if this is your departed loved one or not.
Don't be too rigid and decide that the meeting has to go a certain way. Your deceased
loved one is living in a new place, a different reality. Your loved one has been through a
tremendous transition and may not remember all the details you remember or would like your
loved one to remember.
Finally, remember that departed loved ones may be having just as hard a time as we are
accepting their deaths. It's very important to respect their process. Pulling on them too
hard makes it harder for them to move on. If you are having a difficult time with the loss
of a loved one, don't ask your loved one to comfort you. Seek out someone here who can
help you. If your loved one is having a difficult time, perhaps it will do the same on the
Life after physical death is truly a reunion back to our real life, our true existence.
Just as our clothes cover our bodies, our bodies cover our souls. When our souls move out
of our bodies and move on to the next dimension, they are free - free to see and know the
truth about themselves, their lives, heaven, and God. Most are so glad to be Home that
they don't want to think about anything else. Our souls planned their lives, were born
into families who helped them live those lives, and met up with all the people and
experiences they chose to have for their highest good. They gained a lot of knowledge and
hopefully grew by leaps and bounds. When they were done, they turned in their physical
bodies and returned Home, looking forward to a long rest.
From Echoes of the Soul, by Echo Bodine. Copyright © 1999 by Echo Bodine.
Excerpted by arrangement with New World Library. $12.95. Available in local bookstores, or
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